Friday, September 16, 2005

Apocalypse Lan

Iraq, shit. I'm still only in Iraq. Every time I think I'm going to wake up back in the states. When I was home after Afghanistan, it was worse. I'd wake up and there'd be nothing... I hardly said a word to my wife until I said let's get a divorce. Since I've been here, all I could think of was getting back into the states. I've been here a year now. Waiting for a user, getting softer. Every minute I stay in this room I get weaker. And every minute Charlie squats in the bush he gets stronger. Each time I look around the walls move in a little tighter.

I was being ferried down the street in a KBR bus, a type of shuttle bus, pretty common sight on post. They said it was a good way to get back and forth without drawing a lot of attention. That was OK, I needed the air and the time. Only problem was I wouldn't be alone. There was a goatherd.

You smell that? Do you smell that? Port-o-Potty shit suckers, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I hate the smell of shit suckers in the morning. The smell, you know that shit sucker smell, the whole compound. Smelled like - excrement.

Never go out of the trailer. Absolutely goddamn right. Unless you were going all the way. FB went out of the trailer. He split from the whole fucking program.

I've seen latency...latency that you've never seen. It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what latency means. Latency. Latency has a face... And you must make a friend of latency. Latency and lag are your friends. If they are not then they are enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies. I remember when I was with the XVIII Airborne Corps... Seems a thousand centuries ago... We went into Afghanistan to set up the network. We left the camp after we had done our job, and I went to Iraq. I went there and I saw the bandwidth. And I remember...I...I...I cried... I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out. I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it. I never want to forget. And then I realized...like I was shot... Like I was shot with a diamond...a diamond bullet right through my forehead... And I thought:

My God...the will to do that. The will. The will to use that network. Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure.

And then I realized they were stronger than me. These were men...trained cadres...these men who struggled online with their hearts, who had families, who had children, who were filled with love...but they had the strength...the strength...to do that. You have to have men who are moral...and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordal instincts to surf without feeling...without passion... without downloads...without downloads. Because it's downloads that defeat a network like this.

PBR Street Gang this is Almighty, over...


The latency. The latency...

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