Friday, June 02, 2006

3 plugs and a post

Sometimes you meet people and you just think to yourself, "What the fuck?" Other times you meet people and you think "Wow. We need more people like [him/her] in the world." Mark is one of the latter. He tells it how he sees it. Go read it.

Why is it that if I said that I wanted to meet She-Hulk in real life, people would look at me funny? She's beautiful, funny, and insightful. I'm just saying what everyone must think when they stumble across her site; everyone wants to meet her. Go read her blog.

My apologies, Aydreeyin, both for the turtles and because I thought that you had stopped working on Graceless. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure, GO READ IT. It's a story in progress that you don't want to miss. It's the top link on my side bar for good reason.

*Note: I am pretty sure that all three of you already read or know about those blogs, but in the unlikely event that someone stumbles across this site who hasn't been there, I think they deserve some recognition.

So, you may be wondering to yourself, what is it like to leave a warzone where you're under mortar fire every day, and come home to a beautiful woman who loves you where everything is safe and secure and ideal?

I don't know. That's not what wound up happening.

Instead I came home to someone that didn't want a relationship with me, but failed to tell me that until a few months AFTER I gave up my life and career to be with her.

She changed somewhere between the time she arrived at grad school and the time I got back from Iraq. Suddenly, it wasn't okay that I don't have a degree yet. It wasn't okay that I wasn't perfect, really. She wanted a trophy to flaunt to her rich, grad school friends.

I just wanted to be with her. So she ripped my heart out and stomped on it and chewed it up and so forth and so on until I realized that I had found another constant in life. India is pain.

I'll take the mortars.

General Disclaimer

Ok folks, the next few posts may bring you down. This doesn't mean that I've lost any sort of joie de vivre or that I have any idea if I spelled that right. It's just on vacation.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Haiku Madness, part 2.

Friday, April 28, 2006

He's alive! He's alive!

Yes that's right, people, lock up your animals, I'm back. I won't promise everyday posts, though.

A lot has happened since I've been gone and that means plenty of material for me to post about.

To those of you who have postulated on my demise, I'm glad to tell you that I returned quite safely from Iraq.

Buy some of this, it's delicious:

Mmmm, chips & black bean dip.

*EDIT* I think a lot is going to have to change for the look of this blog too, so expect some changes. I am going to make it much simpler.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Turtle Love


Friday, October 07, 2005

Where have I been? People want to know.

I have been plenty of places, but that's not what I'm going to tell you today. Today I am going to tell you why I've been away from "No Time For Later." Well, with preparations in full swing for leaving this smothering mud bowl of heat (Iraq), I've been VERY busy as of late.

That's not the only reason, though. I realized that my blog is stalking me. It found me here, for crying out loud. All of you wonderful readers out there should breathe a sigh of relief that in this time that I am away, the blog and I are reconciling our differences and that we are working on a compromise so that it doesn't syphon all of my life away.


Friday, September 16, 2005

Apocalypse Lan

Iraq, shit. I'm still only in Iraq. Every time I think I'm going to wake up back in the states. When I was home after Afghanistan, it was worse. I'd wake up and there'd be nothing... I hardly said a word to my wife until I said let's get a divorce. Since I've been here, all I could think of was getting back into the states. I've been here a year now. Waiting for a user, getting softer. Every minute I stay in this room I get weaker. And every minute Charlie squats in the bush he gets stronger. Each time I look around the walls move in a little tighter.

I was being ferried down the street in a KBR bus, a type of shuttle bus, pretty common sight on post. They said it was a good way to get back and forth without drawing a lot of attention. That was OK, I needed the air and the time. Only problem was I wouldn't be alone. There was a goatherd.

You smell that? Do you smell that? Port-o-Potty shit suckers, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I hate the smell of shit suckers in the morning. The smell, you know that shit sucker smell, the whole compound. Smelled like - excrement.

Never go out of the trailer. Absolutely goddamn right. Unless you were going all the way. FB went out of the trailer. He split from the whole fucking program.

I've seen latency...latency that you've never seen. It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what latency means. Latency. Latency has a face... And you must make a friend of latency. Latency and lag are your friends. If they are not then they are enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies. I remember when I was with the XVIII Airborne Corps... Seems a thousand centuries ago... We went into Afghanistan to set up the network. We left the camp after we had done our job, and I went to Iraq. I went there and I saw the bandwidth. And I remember...I...I...I cried... I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out. I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it. I never want to forget. And then I I was shot... Like I was shot with a diamond...a diamond bullet right through my forehead... And I thought:

My God...the will to do that. The will. The will to use that network. Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure.

And then I realized they were stronger than me. These were men...trained cadres...these men who struggled online with their hearts, who had families, who had children, who were filled with love...but they had the strength...the do that. You have to have men who are moral...and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordal instincts to surf without feeling...without passion... without downloads...without downloads. Because it's downloads that defeat a network like this.

PBR Street Gang this is Almighty, over...

The latency. The latency...

Monday, September 05, 2005

Information for you.

Since I've failed to give you any meaningful information or content, here's 100 things about me. I hate memes, but I dare not disappoint.

1) I LOVE New Orleans.
2) I was born there, and lived most of my life nearby.
3) I live in North Carolina.
4) I am finishing up a year in Iraq as a contractor.
5) I am moving to Michigan when I get back.
6) I played soccer for 10 years of my life.
7) I was in the Olympic Developmental Program for soccer in Louisiana.
8) I had to quit due to very painful bone spurs on my heels.
9) I don't get hangovers.
10) I never threw up from drinking until I met a guy named Harland.
11) I don't black out, but I do pass out.
12) No one has ever had the balls to fuck with me when I'm passed out, because they know that I'm more devious.
13) My first car was a '77 Duster.
14) I've owned three cars.
15) I drive a Toyota Echo now.
16) I'm laughing on the inside at everyone who made fun of my car now that gas prices are so high.
17) I want to drive a Corvette one day when my gas is cheap.
18) I have a spotless driving record.
19) My favorite food is crawfish etouffee.
20) I love boudin too.
21) The best steak I've ever had was prime rib at a place called Charlie Brown's Steak House in New Jersey.
22) Once I grew my hair long and tried to dye it blue.
23) It didn't work (I didn't know I was supposed to bleach it first).
24) I was born in the year of the dragon, and I'm a cancer.
25) The most horrific thing I've ever experienced physically is play-doh in my inner nasal cavity.
26) The most wonderful thing I've ever experienced was with my girlfriend.
27) I am taken, ladies, but thanks for the compliments and offers.
28) I love Seoul, too.
29) I lived there for a year when I was in the army.
30) I think that Koreans are beautiful people, with a beautiful culture and have delicious foods.
31) I've never been arrested.
32) Once I had to shackle a guy that I worked with when I was in the army.
33) I hated it, but I was under orders. He had gone AWOL.
34) The charges were dropped because he technically hadn't gone AWOL.
35) A month later, he did go AWOL.
36) I can't stand conservatives, but I am surrounded by them here.
37) I am Cajun.
38) I hate the term "coonass." Don't use it around me.
39) The best cajun accent in any movie that I've ever heard was performed by Michael Jeter in "The Green Mile."
40) I love movies.
41) I am a Star Wars geek, but you won't see me at any conventions or in my own dorky video on the internet.
42) I plan on watching every movie that ever won an Oscar for Best Picture with my girlfriend.
43) I had already seen about 1/3rd of them when we decided to do this.
44) I have every Alien movie, both Predator movies, AVP, and both AVP computer games.
45) I don't care for comic books too much, but I loved X-Men and the Incredible Hulk when I was younger.
46) I have a ridiculous amount of DVDs.
47) My favorite director is Tim Burton.
48) I have all of his movies that have been released on DVD.
49) A cinematic experience is incomplete without Sno-Caps, super buttery popcorn and a Coke.
50) I've eaten escargot. It didn't taste too good, but that may have just been how it was prepared.
51) I'll try anything once.
52) My favorite season is Autumn.
53) My favorite color is Blue.
54) My favorite ice cream is Baskin-Robbins' Gingerbread Ice Cream (only available during the holiday season).
55) My favorite holiday is Mardi Gras.
56) I don't have a favorite movie. There are too many good movies out there.
57) I love doughnuts, pecan pie and ice cream.
58) I also love broccoli, carrots, and peas. I can't stress enough how much I love broccoli. Just not boiled.
59) I despise peanut butter and brussels sprouts.
60) I believe that the universe is too vast for humans to be the only intelligent life out there.
61) I am not Christian.
62) Most Christians tend to stop talking to me when they find this out, despite how friendly we were beforehand.
63) I don't believe in ghosts, ghouls, etc.
64) Once I grew a big wooly lumberjack beard, and then couldn't cut it off because my roommate broke my clippers.
65) Later I got new clippers and cut it down to a goatee.
66) Then I joined the army and cut off the goatee.
67) I am an expert at making people shoot drinks out of their noses. We call this Snarfing.
68) I had a classmate in high school that we all knew shouldn't have gotten into Honors English. She superglued her eye shut one day.
69) I come from an area in the south in which racism is the norm. I HATE racists. This makes me a hypocrite. I'm okay with that.
70) When I was in college, I witnessed a "domestic disturbance." A man hit a woman with a baby. I called the police. After the police left, the man chased me into a graveyard, where I was able to elude him.
71) I make a mean egg sandwich, delicious sauteed mushrooms, and an exquisite spaghetti, but otherwise I cannot cook.
72) I am an IT professional.
73) I've thought about dropping my career path and going to culinary school.
74) I've also thought about teaching philosophy in college.
75) One day I will write down my beliefs in an organized fashion and found my religion.
76) When I was little I wanted to be a policeman, a fireman, a pilot, an astronaut, and a veterinarian at some point or another.
77) The Letterman Show is the only late night show I'll watch.
78) In my favorite "episode," a kindergarten class sent in a book they made featuring what each student wanted to be when they grew up. One kid wanted to be a plate.
79) I've found that if I tell people that in a conversation, they look at me funny and change the subject.
80) I am not that knowledgeable about art, but I love going to the museum to see it anyway.
81) I am not very artistic, but I have been known to draw from time to time.
82) My favorite drawing of mine involves a lemon, a naked ass, and a haiku. If you ask me nicely enough, I'll post it.
83) My favorite drawing was once featured on Digitalicat's blog.
84) I can write a humorous haiku about anything.
85) I own a $9000.00 computer. I could have built it myself for far less. It's still in the box, waiting for me in Michigan.
86) My girlfriend is also from Louisiana.
87) She already moved to Michigan.
88) I have been to Afghanistan as a soldier. It was very hot there too.
89) I was recruited to go work for White House communications as a soldier, but opted to get out of the army instead.
90) I have a quick temper.
91) I hate spending money unless it's on entertainment or my girlfriend.
92) I don't believe in exchanging gifts for holidays (except birthdays).
93) I think you should just give someone a gift whenever you feel like it. Skip the fruitcakes and ugly ties.
94) Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day.
95) I love getting pancakes from IHOP with butter and butter pecan syrup, and Loaded Biscuit 'N' Gravy Breakfast Bowls from Hardee's or Carl Jr.'s.
96) I don't understand why they don't just call them all "Hardee's" or "Carl Jr.'s".
97) One of my favorite things to do was sit at the Cafe Du Monde on Decatur St. in New Orleans, listen to the street musicians, and watch people go by over a cup of hot cocoa and a beignet.
98) My middle name is my father's first name and his middle name is my grandfather's first name.
99) I am a middle child.
100) The Mysterious Lubba D is my older sister and best friend.
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